I took Charlotte to a special showing of The Polar Express this morning. I figured it would be a fun, Christmas-y thing to do since we won't be decorating or making crafts (see last year's Christmas entry for more on that). I've never read the book, nor had I seen the movie, so I was a blank slate. What follows is not a review; it's more like a Festivus-style airing of grievances.
(Basic plot summary, just so you know what I'm talking about: boy doesn't believe in Santa Claus. Boy goes on train to North Pole. Boy is joined by sad poor kid who never got a present. Boy can't hear jingle bells until he believes. Boy is given a jingle bell by Santa Claus, and then promptly loses it because he is completely irresponsible. Sad poor kid goes home and sees that, for the first time, he has a Christmas present. Boy arrives home in time for Christmas morning, opens presents, and surprise! There is one final gift--the bell from Santa, which his parents can't hear, being nonbelievers and all. It all ends with a monologue about how everyone except the boy stopped being able to hear the bell, since they all grew up to stop believing in Old St. Nick.)
Grievance 1: Sad poor kid. Poor little Billy lives on the wrong side of the tracks (literally), and he has never received a Christmas gift in his whole sad life. Not once! Anyway, Billy sits alone and doesn't partake in the festivities until the main character and his do-gooder friend pretty much force him. They go on a detour through the workshop, and Billy sees a lovely wrapped present tagged with his name and address. He's getting a gift for the first time ever! There is great rejoicing throughout the land. This sounds nice, right? Not so fast. When Billy meets Santa face-to-face, he doesn't ask the jolly old elf why he's never gotten a gift. I understand; I'm non-confrontational myself. But Santa couldn't have explained himself? Not even a word as to why he's been ignoring the child his whole life, refusing to brighten his life of poverty and squalor for just one night out of each year with a mere token of a present? And now all of a sudden, arbitrarily, he deems Billy worthy of his effort? Poor form, Santa. Nul points.
Grievance 2: The nonbelieving parents. The kid opens a shit-ton of gifts, and when his sister finds the box containing the bell from Santa, his parents have no idea where it came from. Billy rings the bell, and his parents can't hear it, indicating their lack of belief in the Claus. You know what that means, right? Santa has never brought this kid a gift before, either! If Santa was bringing gifts for my kid, I wouldn't bother to buy her any. (Come on, you wouldn't either.) Yet these parents are clearly cleaning out Toys R Us, as the bell was the only gift they didn't recognize. And the boy says that his little sister and all of his friends stopped believing eventually, so if they had kids, they're buying the gifts, too. So if Santa is letting parents who can afford it do all the work and just ignoring the kids whose parents are poor, who are all those gifts for? What is the point of this whole piece of elaborate theater? I call shenanigans, Polar Express.
Okay, one more thought: this movie has the weirdest animation ever. The scenery is gorgeous, but the people are terrifying.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
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