Cheeri-oh HELL, no!

All I wanted was some cereal for Lou and me: something semi-healthy, something sweet enough, but nothing you'd mistake for a bowl of milk-sodden candy. So I got Multigrain Cheerios. Innocent enough, right? Not when you look at the back of the box, which features two slender women, mid-stride and delighted-looking, bookending some insipid text about small things I can do to (all together now) manage my weight! Yay! First of all, are you kidding me with this? Get back to me when you've got something fresher than "drink more water" and "take the stairs," Multigrain Cheerios. Second of all, I'm trying not to plague my daughter with body image issues. I don't want her to think that weight management is the only reason to eat stuff like whole grains. Last of all, I take serious umbrage at their cheery-yet-creepy tag line, "More grains, less you!" That sounds like you get a free amputation with each box. Anyway, I like me. Less me is a bad thing, as far as I'm concerned. In short, screw you, Cheerios.